How They Met: Gary and Trish Sheff
Trish and Gary in 1978, when they were about 13, in Ardsley, New York.
Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s right in front of you. Trish and Gary first met in elementary school when they were seven years old. This was in Ardsley, New York, a town even smaller than Swarthmore, where Trish had lived all her life. A skinny kid from the Bronx with a giant head of hair, Gary moved to Ardsley in second grade, joining a class that already had a Larry and Barry. He and Trish quickly became friends. But it would take them 33 years to realize they were perfect for each other.
They never dated in high school, and their plans for their lives were very different. Late one night in a diner, out with a bunch of friends around high school graduation, Trish wrote in Gary’s yearbook, “There’s a 50/50 chance we’ll stay in touch.” And they did — writing letters back and forth for years.
After college, Trish took off for the West Coast to be a waitress and a ski bum. Gary went to Harvard Law School. He became a corporate lawyer, and Trish became a triathlete. But they still kept writing.
In one letter, when they were in their late twenties, Trish revised her yearbook prediction. “There’s a 50/50 chance we’ll get married,” she wrote this time. But their thirties saw them married to other people.
Then one day, when they were 38, Gary sent Trish a text: “Guess what?”
“You’re having a kid?” she texted back.
“No. I’m getting a divorce.”
Coincidentally, Trish was, too.
The Sheffs in 2018
They started dating — just for fun. But they were different now. Their first marriages, and half a lifetime of experiences, had changed them. Over all the time apart, they had slowly and steadily grown closer together. Now, they were perfect for each other. It was undeniable love — profound and deep. Smooth as butter, as Trish says.
On Christmas Day, just a few months later, Gary gave Trish a ring. “I know you don’t want to get married again,” he said. “But I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Can we just be engaged forever instead?” Trish thought that was the greatest idea she ever heard. Of course, three days later, she was planning the wedding.
After three decades of knowing each other, they realized what had been right in front of them all along.
Now, 15 joy- and adventure-filled years later, they are happily ensconced in Swarthmore, with a home full of two children, two dogs, two cats, one betta fish, 16 chickens, and lots of love.
