Viral Vocab
While the sequestration imposed by the coronavirus has isolated us from one another in many ways, it has also united us through a range of shared experiences, as we all get through this departure from normal life, together (and at least six feet apart). Here is a glossary of the new lingo you’d be picking up in the world, if your friends and neighbors were speaking loudly enough to be heard in the social distance.
Covidose: Feeling numb and withdrawn after consuming the 29th piece of COVID-19 coverage in an hour? Might be time to detox with some inexplicably soothing YouTube classics — Olympic curling, Baby Shark, Instant Pot 101, etc.
Ennuithusiasm: The realization that a day devoid of people, events and accomplishments was actually ... downright enjoyable?!
Boratorium: “Kids, the ‘b-word’ is banned until further notice. Requests for more engaging activities than those I’ve offered today may be lodged with Alexa.”
Glammies: Time for dinner, but still in your jammies? No problem! Bedazzle those duds with some costume jewelry and stilettos. You’ve totally still got it.
Déjà vu-rus: What day is it, Wednesday? Twenty-three? Yesterday?
Auf wiederZoom: That five-second pause between saying “goodbye” to your videocall mates and locating the “end call” button on the screen. (Are they looking for it too? Are they looking at me? This is getting awkward.)
Shattering the LCD ceiling: A memo for the corporate set: wage inequity and power imbalances will never be the same after you’ve witnessed a flummoxed, T-shirt-clad colleague “negotiate” over cheese doodles with a screaming, naked toddler.
CBD: No longer a sought-after palliative for all manner of ailments and inconveniences. Now, CBD is the Crafty Bragging Diva, exuding star-worthy homeschooling creativity, and exuding it hard. Homemade vegan edible Legos? #pieceofkale. Sustainable-wood-free-popsicle-stick Eiffel Tower? #ouioui. Screen time? #neverheardofit.
Squalordarity: Let’s face it: we are all in this together, yet none of us is coming to your house any time soon. Embrace the chaos. Live in the mess. (Heck, BE the mess: wear sweatpants! See also: glammies.)
