A Couple of Psychologists Preach What They Practice
Julie Mayer and Barry Jacobs. Photo: Maura McConnell
“One day, about seven years ago, we found ourselves looking at each other in frustration in our too-quiet house.”
That’s how Swarthmoreans Julie Mayer and Barry Jacobs, both clinical psychologists, begin their new book, “Love and Meaning After 50: The 10 Challenges to Great Relationships — and How to Overcome Them.”
After their children left for college, Mayer and Jacobs found themselves “feeling older and unsure about what should come next.” They began to reassess their marriage and find new ways to connect. This book, they say, is their attempt to help others do the same.
Mayer and Jacobs have identified 10 challenging areas that older couples commonly face, including the empty nest, extended family, finances, and infidelity (“The rates of infidelity peak for men in their 70s and for women in their 60s,” they write). They explore these challenges, offering insights, anecdotes, and solutions.
“We decided to write about relationships because we felt that our cohort needed some help,” Mayer told the Swarthmorean. “The divorce rate for couples over 50 has doubled over the past 20 years, and for those over 65, it has tripled. As we initially explored the issues, we realized that the over-50 years aren’t just a walk in the park. So many changes occur, many joyful but many involving loss and grief.”
Jacobs added, “We hope our book will help couples to turn toward one another, to struggle through the hardships and enjoy the good times together, feeling ever closer as the years pass.”
